Deploying is actually a painful process although it doesn't have to be. The military feels that you need to feel frustration, anger, and a general sense of being screwed so they created an inefficient process that catches everybody in its web; including the people who process you.
Basically you get your orders a couple of months in advance "warning" you that you've been tasked to participate in whatever operation needs you. In my case it is Operation Enduring Freedom. So you get your orders and you get a billion emails from different entities telling you to complete training that you've already completed.
That's right. Already did your CBRNE (Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, and Explosive), or chem warfare training, do it again. It has to be completed within 120 days of your deployment. You've already done it so why argue just do it again. Well, someone always does and it takes longer because you have the hour long argument prior to the class. It goes something like this, "Do I really have to do it? I just did it last month!" The entity responsible for teaching the class just stares through you and replies that, yes you indeed must feel more ass pain then is required because it's the military way.
The funny thing is after arguing and getting all of your equipment out that entity gives the most f'd up class you've ever seen in your life. We didn't even put the mask on, which is the first thing your going to put on when the enemy decides to ruin your day with a chemical weapon attack. We had one guy put it on as an example. Well hell, why don't we just have a group of teenagers learning how to drive, watch one of their own drive around town and call them qualified to drive!
The really funny thing about this particular training is that in the OPORD (Operations Order) it specifically states that crews operating in CENTCOM (Central Command, i.e. Afghanistan, Irag) are not required to carry the necessary equipment in case of an attack. So why the requirement? Because the paper shuffling cotton headed ninnymuggins (Generals in charge) want you to be as prepared as you can be for any contingency and then not require you to have the equipment necessary to meet the challenge. Welcome to the military now please bend over.
So, you complete useless training that you normally have to do anyway and then someone gets the bright idea to show aircrew a video on how the Army combats IED (Improvised Explosive Devices) attacks. HELLO!! Last time I checked we didn't drive the Herk on any roads! We don't even get out of the compound on foot or in a vehicle. Do they make soldiers go through AATTC (Advanced Airlift Tactics Training Course) to learn how to defeat surface to air missles and small arms fire will flying in the air? I bet they do just to mess with those guys (probably not as you need to fly an aircraft to complete the course).
Training completed? Why not brief you and call out the names of those individuals who could not be bothered to complete their training. What? Is that my name you called? I did the F'n training. It turns out they had the wrong list. This will happen ten more times. Emails abound about the briefing schedule, briefing you on what they will be briefing you on. I swear if Donald Trump ever had to deploy he'd tell McChrystal, "General, your fired!" Not because the general might be doing a bad job, but because he's ultimately responsible for this gaggle.
It sounds like the military is inept and it somewhat is, but it works because the men and women who actually do the task relish it. They want to do it so they put up with the bullshit just so they can get out there and show their skill at what they do. You might say we end up deploying inspite of the process.
After you get all your training, shots, briefings they're supposed to equip you. I say supposed to because often you get three of one thing and none of the other. Case in point: Boots and flyers gloves. Gotta have boots for obvious reasons and it would be nice if your gloves matched the color of your flight suit as you want to look your very best while evading the enemy should he shoot you down. Well I can get a dozen pairs of tan boots for my tan flightsuit, but not one pair of desert gloves. Something about supply, but I've heard this all and a guy who deployed with us from another unit has his and a desert flight jacket (according to our support staff they don't exist anymore kind of like common sense doesn't). In fact, he told me that his unit ordered him the entire inventory that was on the list and our unit paid for it. One word: SWEET!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment