First things first: We launched one crew to parts unknown earlier in the week. They immediately break with the plane that we're supposed to take downrange. Lest you think that happens often, the 130's we've taken with us on this deployment have been going non-stop for one month now and have had very few glitches. So, they're broken and our maintenance dispatched someone out to repair them.
That's so funny now that I think about it. In the ever present game of "my plane is better than yours", Ramstein claimed we shouldn't go to the Horn of Africa to spank bad guys because if we broke they couldn't support us. Really? Is that why there is currently a unit flying out of Djibouti full time and they have their maintenance with them. Did I mention they fly H-2s? WTF!!!!!????!!!! The reason they want fly these missions is Ramstein will look good doing them. Bastards.....
We launched another bird out for a couple of day mission and they just got back from a Horn of Africa (HOA) mission. Those guys are beat and I am envious because they are flying like crazy. They'll get a long rest once we're gone down on the continent:)
So that was duty crew. In addition, we watched some AC-130 Spectre gun camera footage while we were at work with nothing to do (once you launch a crew and they pass the equal time point(ETP) your done). Taliban take note: you will meet Allah. It is not a question of if, but when. It should be noted that you can hear the forward air controller and the combat controllers on the ground guiding these guys, shouting out loud not to hit the mosque and clearly identifying it and the 130 guys keeping their sights off of it. Those poor guys in the technicals (Toyota pickups with guns and rockets mounted on them) never knew what hit them!!
Okay, so now for the rectal pain. In order to remain healthy on the HOA you have to take anti-malarial measures. This includes a daily dose of Doxycycline (continuing a month after you return) and when you return a daily dose of Primaquine for two weeks. Sounds easy. Trumpets Please. Enter the medical personnel who screen you and issue it to you...They graduated from our Lady of Pain and Misery School of Medical Evil and Incompetence and accomplished their residencies in How Difficult Can I Make It hospitals.
We show up and tell them we're deployed and going TDY to Djibouti. Not Deploying to Djibouti. OMG it's like watching Ben Stiller deal with the ticket/gate agent/flight attendant in the movie meet the parents. I wanted to tell the technician I was dealing "Step back Bitch!!!" You can't give them something outside their realm of understanding. It's as if Alanis Morisette had come out of the church on Dogma and spoken. The medical people were instantly rendered blind and deaf....but only long enough to grab their deployment checklists (Yes, why deployment checklists if the individual you are dealing with isn't deploying?) With checklists in hand they swiftly assaulted us with the deadliest salvo of frickin questions, the likes of which no defendant on Law & Order ever faced from ADA McCoy!!!
Have you had bouts of Depression? Are you experiencing anger (about now I was)? Are you on any anti-anxiety medications? Seriously? I'm on flying status. That question would have been a career ender so of course no flyer is on that kind of medication.
Okay Sir, go to mental health and then the lab and follow the checklist. WTF? I need my meds and then I can leave. "Oh, no" says the blundering public health technician from Ramstein AB, you must pass through the gauntlet of HIV testing and then off to the land of immunizations where your due Anthrax and smallpox. Can I have those anti-anxiety meds now please? Of course, I'm not due any immunizations..Genius!!
So we all had our required HIV testing done as per military regulation, but it was done literally 120 days or more from us going to HOA, therefore it must be done again. Then I get to the clinic to have blood drawn and the technician there apologizes and tells me that, again, deployment medicine entered the request for bloodwork wrong and this time she wasn't going to take it so I'd have to wait until it was requested correctly. Well frack me!!! It should be said that through all of this the old me did not surface.
That came later when the lead public health idiot informed me that we would get HIV tested on the return and then everytime we went down there. Which we're spending most of the summer down on HOA. Needless to say we had a chat and then I informed him that none of us would be back for subsequent blood draws. We'd do the checklist again, but this time when they informed us that the drugs had been ordered we'd ignore everything else and go to the pharmacy.... Didn't tell him that part. That's what one of our navigators did and I think it's brilliant.
I know have my meds and most of what I need to protect myself down there. I checked out the night vision goggles to make sure that they all worked and had fresh batteries. Nothing like being on an airfield at night with no lights and running off the runway, or worse being eaten by the local wildlife!! Besides, I want to see if the enemy is running toward me should we enter a hostile area:)
I can't wait to get back on the road.
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